The Writing on The Wall in this section of the tunnel…that’s what we enter now.
It’s all the garbage she’s sifted through…Overload..overload!!! We’re all on overload but we’re not unloading properly!
Didn’t we learn from the last pandemic?
Let’s take a step back and understand something: In times like this it’s critical we all keep calm and cool, collected heads. It’s easy to get angry when the world is in a state of Pandemonium. I’m more talking to myself here, as I’m a mix of everything. Setting fire to my insides for fun again. Hold on though, let me go out and explain something…let’s look and step back before we step into this painting, let’s understand that it was found here in our reality. I got approved for one of my biggest dream come trues and here we are…standing in front of this insanity and pandemic virus. How unfortunate and so many speculations, what if’s and uncertainties…sadly people still don’t want to accept that even when a massive amount of people die…the world and business must keep carrying on…We as a species will survive…just look at the shelves. Altruistic is not our nature. Survival of the fittest is. We keep passing the traits down too no matter how smart we think we get.
This painting is a collection of writings on the wall in a room that is today’s date posted and a mash up from notes in a box. From a real box actually…let me ‘splain here what this means, it’s all metaphors and a mix up from here with us now in 2020 and some crap in 2009/2010. Some a little raw and random. So take it all for food for thought and random rants and raves that I pluck out the loudest of the mental waves others are emitting in these times. It’s definitely inside this drawing. This tunnel section we all get to go through. Won’t this be interesting. I don’t think I survived this one either. Who knows…let us stop with the panic though. I’m enjoying the fact that I’m not so alone here.
In my box of memories. Not many keep their memories like I do. Some don’t come from the past either. They’re definitely not organized and for the most part, not commonly reachable as a whole. It’s like a mess and nothing makes sense where they’re located, not even for me most of the time. I’m the one picking them up too.
It’s like when you’re walking down the Dog Food aisle and see someone left a pack of eggs and milk on the shelf. You might get angry and think “Well It’s a total waste now!”, but you don’t know if the person who set those there just ran out of the store in a panic to the hospital to see their dying sibling or mother, father, whoever. Some kind of frantic panic…maybe they remembered their kid in the back seat before it was too late but then decided to leave before someone said something? You just do not know.
We simply do not know what we do not know. If human compassion and altruism wrapped with honesty were a pandemic we’d be in a different place in the world and a virus wouldn’t be spreading so rampantly in places that are more than suited to deal with such things. Yet we have people literally clearing shelves out like you would have learned from some movie. So again, I’ll say to myself and you too who might read this: You do not know what you do not know. I have faith that people will start learning this…
So many…so many are dying every day from stupidity. From bad choices. From having fun. From something preventable. There are a plethora of pandemics of death by a lack of plethoras of common sense approaches. The world has yet to stop turning. Life will go on…
I am going to jump into this chapter now, we’re going to walk together…and since we’re restricted to numbers of 10 or fewer people, we should be in really good shape here in this painting. There’s just the Me, Myself and I here traveling in these paintings. It’s so long it’s intended to lose you. It won’t get the popular vote, that’s for sure.
We don’t always get along either. Sometimes we sound like some angry Italians, screaming at each other over something that others would really think was a psychotic way to handle a situation. Sometimes we sound like some really crazy chatter on a busy train station or airport. Other times, others don’t even realize we’re not one person in our entirety. Just part of the greater universe. There’s a vast Disparity in this description maybe.
Sometimes we scrap like gangs in the moonlight over something as stupid as the writing on the wall…but one of us actually always steps back and walks away. The ‘I’ in the trio of the ‘me, myself and I’ and it always points me and myself to that something greater. We were always attracted to the number 4 for some reason, ended up a 3 though somehow and that changed our destiny, and this is just an analogy so if you’re not following me here…that’s quite alright and quite expected. If you’re not following us here…then we’re doing our job to cause you to question and think. I hope to invoke some deeper thoughts as we go on this little mental adventure.
Maybe we’ll invite you to have some profound thoughts with some of the random shit we spew over a healthy cup of tea. It’s the World of Randoms here anyway. So if you don’t get it, you’re in the right place, one might say.
Let me start with something from back before 2009, before adulting was a thing for this gal…
This painting is a wall of random writing, feel free to leave a note, maybe even take one!
“Raise up child, rest not your head…
For these years are not over!
Cling not to your sisters, nor your brothers!
Speak not in hate to your mother or father!
But open thine eyes and grasp!
Grasp the Concept of these people!
For in time you’ll wish all this back
Take a moment in God’s good grace
And slow down from that pace!
Take a good look around,
But do not cling on
Enjoy the sounds!
The conversations and be thankful!”
The moment of silence…she turns a page…remembering the chatter in the classroom…the flashes before the flashes were a thing. The here, the now, the then, the when…?
“Because tomorrow isn’t promised,
So love them and release with your hands!
And hold into your heart
The beautiful blessing
Of Being with your family…”
Such an appropriate finding in a time like this. If we were to look at this painting of the state of the world today…The state of her life today. So beautiful, so quiet, so peaceful…so peacefully hers. She doesn’t fear to die, she just doesn’t want to be uncomfortable. And if she had to look at the grand scope of things…She really doesn’t have anything to complain about. She has her plot, her plan. It’s there. Really her choice, so she’s not going to fret and stare. How can she help instead? It’s inevitable either way…
SO, So, So very many are with their families and HATING it, stressing it. I scream at them in the back of my mind “FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS PEOPLE” You who are all on social media. Who are all fortunate to have internet. Fortunate to have children, running water, pets, a roof, warmth, air conditioning, let us not forget where our society came from. And ever so carelessly laying our elders to the waste side without concern, even if they are sick.
Yet the idea of your own mortality is mind-blowing for some and the idea that our entire species could be at stake is also just as mindblowing as we’re no different than this virus is to us as we are to our own planet as our planet is to our universe and as our universe is to our galaxies or however the appropriate way to word that is…either way, watch as mother nature slows and trims down our carbon footprints down so she can get a breath. I fret how deep she can even breathe with how many trees we’ve destroyed collectively and oceans destroyed as well…
Viruses and bacteria have been around long before our evolution came in. Maybe this is the cycle of life, reminding the people of the world when we’re in this state of opportunity to really learn and open our minds. Maybe even our hearts.
Yet here is another one: Today I lost another fight on the inside and again I’m stumbling around lost and confused. Dazed by my hazy future. Here I go again…on another pointless round that has no time limit again…I cry out to these demons, torture me not, if you must just cut out my heart and please leave me to rot in peace! I’ve lost so much including my control and I ask who holds the strings to this puppet I’ve become?
“Where is your self respect?” He asked and I had no answer.
I know we can’t work like this…how will we make it? How can I change me if I don’t know who the hell I am?”
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