World of Randoms

Chapter 16 – Wanting Out

It trips me out every time. Sitting on a beach, it’s supposed to be relaxing, but it’s just full of all these grains of sand…shells…it’s windy. Wet…messy and not to mention you can’t hear a thing past the ocean crashing in with the winds. I’m sitting in front of the great birthing pool of everything larger than all our individual lives combined. Things exist in those waters that could swallow you and me whole in one gulp. Things exist in those waters that have stung me…damn jellies. So illusively beautiful, yet some are so very deadly. Of all the things we could die from, you could die from a floating blob of gelatinous venom. Or something with 8 arms of nothing but pure masculine muscle, with a grasp that can rip your limbs off. Beaks so powerful…it’s painful to reflect on some of the images I’ve picked up in these shore sands. 

I met that one girl on the beach eons ago. She wasn’t here, but her voice, I could hear. Talk about the oddities in life. Looking back, we could say children are supernaturally sensitive. When you listen to ghost stories, you think you’re crazy. Maybe you are? Sure did give a different insight into life. All the different ways you can live it. Maybe a lot of different ways to end it too. 

If I could go back, a generation…and give my mother some advice when she was pregnant with me…what would I advise? If I had to answer, I’d tell her to not change a god damn thing. Live it as you lived it. I wouldn’t change a damn thing in my life. My angels, my demons, my lessons, my heathens, my lovers, my mother. I wouldn’t change a damn thing. I wouldn’t tell her a damn thing, it’d affect my life too much. Call me selfish…but I wish her well, I wish her nothing but pure happiness. 

A memory flashes through, a mother and daughter sharing an abnormal moment in a small bathroom, located in a small house in a small town in a small place in a small window of time. Oh under this limelight we can see into their hearts, both in great strife and pain. One angry and confused, the other lost and deeply troubled… The mother laying in a tub of water, tears in her eyes. In this small house, they only have one bathroom to share. The daughter has to pee so she’s in there just to do that. Her mother with her head almost submerged emerges enough to tremble some words, she’s crying…

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