Developing this Allergy is more than just a lifestyle change. It’s a mindset obliterator for any normal person walking down the street having to make this huge dynamic shift. Before I ever got to this point, I’d wanted more people to care where their food came from for a long time. Even when I was younger, I inadvertently ate rather well. Instinctually some might say, but I’d just say I didn’t like what everyone else did. I’ve always been the type to go against the crowd, do my own thing. No wonder I developed a corn allergy, right?
Wrong. Or maybe, it depends on what research rabbit hole you jump down. Typically speaking though, allergies, they just happen for some of us for a litany of reasons that can either be explained or can’t be explained. What can be explained is why people collectively eat what they do even if they’re explained that it’s not good for them. It’s like watching a smoker continue smoking after receiving a cancer diagnosis, at least the logic of most people translates that way for me. Addictions are a topic in my life frequently and I like to point out that our society is addicted to convenience and instant gratification.
Our mobile devices are a perfect example of an addiction problem we all socially accept and call okay. Coffee as well. However, It’s not always a substance being abused or an object, but also emotions, good and bad. We all tend to take our material life for granted, especially here in America from what I can observe… all of what our country has and is capable of, our lack of concept past what we digest and read, it’s really showing our emotional instability and manipulability.
Addicts are the easiest to control, especially when you have what they want or what they believe they’re controlled by…so…by sidestepping this reality and not making the necessary steps collectively to avoid breaching the dangerously zombified side of the spectrum where you’re just automated by your addictions…by us doing this collectively with our food and products…not recognizing these chemicals and what they’re doing – even psychologically wiring us the same as facebook or some of the other social media platforms do…. In doing this we kill our own potential so very much in many different ways. I see more in the people around me, my country as a whole…I feel if we were to recognize this and demolish the corporate monopolized agendas and bring our independence and interdependent skills to the forefront… if I could just figure out how to help them wake up…That’s why I say this blog is more than…Maybe it won’t go anywhere because the truth is always crazier than a lie when you start really diving into things… People have to come to realizations of this manner on their own. Like, through and through, 100%, nobody can control anyone – you can convince them to believe and then they can start going from there with their own self programmed notion of that belief.. I can’t make anyone do anything, except, me.
People like to get distracted by debates and differences of opinion on how to solve the same kinds of issues, causing stalemates in change or growth. The reality is we’re all a little different and unique and no single way approach will ever work for every individual in the masses that make the collective. Everyone gets distracted with debates, with themselves and everyone else around them. The reality is very simple though, and we can all collectively choose at the same time to agree to disagree, shut up, and listen for a moment. Give someone a platform to speak. Listen, take notes of what they’re saying – jot down your thoughts or counterpoints instead of interjecting – and take a few minutes to reflect over everything they’ve said AND your feedback.
Really digest it. Then respond.
My journey before I knew I had this allergy, or before it blossomed, was already really rough. Rocky. Hellish in some people’s eyes if I really elaborated on it. I’ve always been told something was wrong with me, and something probably is. I manage it very well though, whatever that issue is that some aspects of our social culture continuously rejects about me, I manage it well enough to make my bills and keep myself afloat. I’m not a junkie, I’m not a millionaire. I’m just a regular old fashioned girl from the country with a diverse perspective on life and a strong motivation and will to survive and find happiness in life by becoming the best version of me that I can. I want to help as much as I can and always more than I hurt, but life is full of helping and hurting. The path to hell can be paved with good intentions so I don’t ever intend to be nice just to be nice because that doesn’t help anyone. Matter of fact, with my families history of addictive behaviours, helping in some cases is a matter of enabling an addict to kill themselves. I try my best to be good at discerning whether I’m helping or hurting.
I’ve had a lot of death and loss in my life. A lot of traumas and first-hand experiences with death and people’s ability to be absolutely cruel. I refuse to see the world as ugly. There are ugly people and places, but the ideals of beauty are all within the eye of the beholder. What you see is a reflection of yourself in the world. I refuse to see the world as an ugly place.
I’m blunt and straightforward most of the time, with twists of anxiety because I never intend to hurt people’s feelings. It just happens though when you’re blunt and honest all the time with no filters.
With all this being said, this blog and site is more than just a place to share my corn allergy journey discoveries and struggles, creative creations or otherwise. Sharing My life story really is not that relevant to my goals and is quite frankly a tad bit difficult in some areas because I’m afraid of the damage it might do on someone elses’ psyche. I have no issue sharing the crap I’ve been through, I have an issue with how people like to run with some parts of my story with their own scripts applied…how it may have been a contributing factor to someones decision to commit suicide. I cannot walk around with survivors guilt as an excuse not to still try and help people. I just have to know how to put it in a better way…
If I can turn my story into someone elses saving grace from a gruesome or gory mistake, then so be, I hope it helps because I’ll be honest. Learning from others mistakes is in fact the only way I ever managed to get to where I’m at today – a lot of people have shared their stories with me and I learned from them to avoid a few mistakes myself. Or I didn’t listen and learned the hard way and thought back to their story wishing I had. I’ll tell you though, once you make those hard mistakes a few times…You don’t make them again.
So, with my story, I’ll share it. I have no intentions of ‘airing my dirty laundry’ as some might put it when it comes to the family drama dynamics that will ultimately end up getting shared. It’s just part of what shaped me and also contributed to a lot of issues early on in my life. I had to change perspective to really gain traction. I was already pretty set in my ways at 23 years old, coming with a litany of trauma related defense mechanisms and habits, toxic behaviors and levels of irresponsibility with money and relationships that was kind of sad for a 22 year old with a college degree, no kids and a perfectly good career in her hands. This allergy development has been a life saver and an experience prohibitor all in the same swing.
I’m hoping this is more than just a blog. I want it to be a conversation. Not just on the Corn Allergy side of things. I’ve had my whirlwind with Emotional abuses stemming from dysfunctional family dynamics. I’ve had my go about with mental health professionals who were absolutely WRONG about me and my abilities. Mental health is a topic that gets a lot of virtue signalling but not a whole lot of real world and real life education for the masses of zombies out their addicted to the corporate and mainstream agendas.
You zombies are really killing our potential as a collective, it’s time to wake up. If you can.
For them to wake up to choices though…It is going to take more people taking their bad days and sharing their stories for more than just allergy reasons for people to wake up…I also believe that there are always going to be people who ‘smoke the cigarettes even after the cancer diagnosis’ and theres always going to be people who will eat the convenient poisons. I believe everyone has a place, and some people are unable to become better people because it’s their duty to be that tragic traumatizing person for someone like me. That way someone like me comes along and helps someone like you because I’ve had these experiences and have come to this conclusion from them, that I can do this.
Anyway, I won’t go on and on, but I just wanted to let those of you know who are following me this far what I’m hoping for with all this. More than just allergy cause reasons, I want to help people out. Informative graphics on things I’m personally dealing with is something I can do…but for a purpose to keep striving with something that isolates me from everything I ever knew before? It’s a mental hassle to keep on my drive train. There’s always a struggle when you feel like the whole world is against you no matter where you are. This allergy does that to me.
I’d moved 3,000 miles away from everyone and anything I ever knew to start my life over. Got my college degree, got my dream job, was living the life and building the life I wanted without anyone holding me back, reaching my financial goals of making more than a man did in my house… Only to find out a few years into it, it’d never be anything I wanted it to be and I’d be swimming in a mountain of obstacles and medical bill debts I’d never pay off.
I was damn determined not to give up though.. I’m fortunate to be married and having 2/3s my dream come true, but looking around at the lifestyle I have… my goals have changed thanks to these obstacles. I want to leave more of a foot print behind that helps for ages to come – something that makes people think and ask more questions, reach for something better within themselves…not only for their physical health, but mental health too. Both are connected.
Let’s make a conversation of this, share your story too. It matters! If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know. My skills lie in making graphics and gifts, prints, etc. Whatever skillset I have that may apply to whatever you’er asking for help on – I’m a hobby helper anyway, ask and find out! My journey isn’t over with this allergy and it continues to blossom with more complications as each day passes. It wears on your relationships, your mentality surrounding social settings. I don’t like seeing all the negativity in the group settings regarding that aspect – I was a social butterfly after all. Even after getting shunned out of my career job essentially – I still don’t feel it’s necessary to fully recoil from society. We have to get louder. In positive and productive ways – throwing a tantrum won’t get anyone on our side. That’s for sure.
More than anything I just hope to help start more conversations and provide more tools for those conversations. Mental health and physical health go hand in hand, so you’ll see a mix and touch on both topics as they intertwine in my life ever so much that I cannot avoid sharing it. I may decide to go forward doing a YouTube channel talking about this instead of typing it all out. I’m teetering on that one.
Make every day great! If you’re dealing with this Allergy too, remember to stay positive! Focus on your blessings even if they seem less than countable on stormy days. I guarantee you it’ll pay off in the long run. Double check those labels with the corn allergy trigger list. Have it with you all the time. Be patient with people who are committed to misunderstanding you but loving you at the same time. You’ll get through this.
I just wanted to make sure people understand that this forum I’m setting down is More than just my blog and my experience – it’s an influence and a tool for those in this crowd struggling with me too. We’re all very spread out, those of us with the corn allergy. We don’t have a ‘corn allergy safe town’ we can go convene at. We don’t have a central hub point. There have been a few key people to come together and pull information together for the rest of us – and forever we are in a debt of gratitude as some of us wouldn’t have made it without their help. I know I wouldn’t have. I hope to be that light too, part of it, for someone else just like myself who hadn’t a clue. This journey isn’t easy but it’s worth your health if you can get down to the bottom of your food choices.