Life Journey Shares

Why are you Deleting Facebook?

Where do I start? The answer is simply this: Why keep Facebook when you get shut down and can’t use the platform every couple of months? They’re literally shutting me down for 30 days for a posted note that was private, on my own personal page, posted over a month ago. Nobody could even see it except me. To top it off? It was a facetious joke towards a workplace situation dealing with the dry and crude humor I was dealing with from men in the workplace. So much for empowering women. So much for keeping us connected too. I’m over this platform and its nonsense overbearing influences on my relationships. Half my posts hardly get out to family or friends as they’re clueless every time about my allergy posts saying they never see it.

It’s run by ‘bots’ that dictate whether or not you are in line with community standards. These bots have no idea what context is nor do they understand dry and dark humor. Even if you share something to your wall with a privacy setting to only yourself – it can be grounds for them to freeze you and shut your voice down for a number of days. That’s actually what has happened and is my final straw going into 2022. I’m done with it. Facebook is fired. The trendsetting and everything they do. Fired from me. I was almost done with it when they silenced Trump and a number of other folks. In light of freedom to run your platform how you please, I guess it’s okay to kick a few loud-mouthed opinionated political figures off the platform, even though they had some valid points and influence. Kind of scary to really debate that debauchery. 

I’ve had many battles with them over my crude humor on my personal page and posts in groups I have been in. Now that I’m on their radar, they’re looking at me with an extra fine-tooth comb more often than others. 

Why am I going to stay on a platform and have to fight to stay on it and be able to post or be heard? It seems a little more than over the top to silence people on a platform meant to ‘connect’ people. I have for the longest time held onto facebook simply for my corn allergy group access for information, but even that is a bit stressful with how manipulative the search bar can be on that app. My husband is in that group and can search for anything I need in that group. I actually kind of hate being cornered to Facebook to connect with people who have similar problems. I’d like to find something more local to accommodate the need for acceptance and inclusion as a human. This virtual world seems like a real waste of time considering how much time I actually need to be spending cooking, cleaning, gardening, fishing, working, and dealing with routine issues and activities. 

I’ve been having issues on and off for about 3 years with Facebook and their bots. I’m not willing to waste the time jumping through hoops to talk to a person on Facebook who doesn’t have a clue any more than their bots do, and in all honesty, why in the world do we have a need for bots with an employee shortage? If people need to get paid to do something and don’t want to leave their homes and want to stay home scrolling online, why not hire them? That’d be more effective than having an AI program running the platform and it would help our economy out somehow I’m sure. Just my two cents on the matter – being rather sarcastic though on all of that.  

There are a number of things getting skewed and manipulated on social media and with that being said, I’ll tell you and everyone wondering why I’m deleting to go watch this documentary on Netflix. I’ve told many people to go on Netflix and watch the Social Dilemma – it’ll explain a little more about what Facebook and other ‘free’ social networking platforms are actually doing. The damages done to our social climate are all but obvious and irreversible at this point I think, especially with the number of people fooled into believing this is the only way to stay connected with friends and family. I’ve had several argue me not to remove my social media accounts. I’ll tell you, my days are numbered either way because I don’t agree with their narrative, and freedom of speech is all but getting publically hung by everyone saying they value it. 

As I was telling my friends, the way the algorithms work, I’m not getting any traction anyway because I don’t agree with mandating vaccines for COVID and I don’t support any of the big companies that won’t take a corn allergy into consideration when making their products. They’d rather me shut up and die. All this talk on social media about mental health awareness and all this other stuff on inclusion this or that… it’s a little taxing and hypocritical. Even those I consider pretty close to me are rather clueless when they start toting these virtue-signaling statements that connote changes but bring forth no fruition to actual changes occurring in society other than perpetuating an ever-evolving and turbulent social climate. I don’t speak in a way that pleases everyone either. It’s not my forte. What can I say? I wasn’t born a public speaker or influencer. I just like to be ‘mouthy’ as I’ve been told but moreover, I like to be helpful where I can in the most honest way I can – being my authentic self the entire time. 

So there’s the answer. I’m done fighting with the bots, I’m not going to start a new Facebook page and email up every time they block me. I’m going to bring everything right here to my website. With all this being said… You can bank on things shifting around on my website in the upcoming months… as if there isn’t a mountain in front of this change of things that I need to get done already. 

I’ll continue posting on Instagram and Facebook Business for now through Instagram and their business tools, this will be coming to a halt as my personal accounts are deleted – permanently. Not just deactivated, deleted. Permanently. I will not be starting another one up if I absolutely do not need to for business purposes. So long as the bots leave my Instagram account alone, that’ll be up for a good amount of time. My intention however is to remove myself from these platforms and take my freedom of speech to my own website where no bots can dictate and misunderstand me and then silence me when it’s the time we are all connecting the most. 

World of Randoms

Chapter 20 – Depression or Decision

Motivation lacking, she yells for me to rise up…

I just glaze my eyes up to hers, and ask what’s up? 

“Get up! Get out of bed!”

“Why, what’s the point?” the lazy and depression laden voice responds. Hollowed out inside. Gutted from the thoughts…or lack thereof. The lack of motivation is deeply laced with the grips of a demon named depression, rooted deep on the inside.

Maybe there’s a reason why you don’t want to get up today. Or any other day for that matter. Maybe you don’t know the reason? And even if you did, what could you do differently? What the world difference does it make? And if you do stir, all you do is somehow find that escape again. That outlet of disappearing on the inside, sidestepping the feelings of handling that boulder up off your shoulders. 

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World of Randoms

Chapter 19 – Who is She?

To strike that note, make that sound. Who would know how well they would flow? 

And As she stood up, I sat down and started to write. 

“Oh what a sight, she’s taking flight!” 

Oh what a scene to see, a girl just figured out how to handle her world! 

Nothing is handed to us when we’re born, not even our parents or gender, nor our skin color, location, family generation, none of it. We haven’t a choice in the world on the day we’re born, or so we think or are led to believe. What if there is so much more we have yet to understand, to yet conceive? What if there’s that missing piece in the beginning to our understanding. Well, it is, to say the least, no one is handed a handbook on how to live their specific life or raise that specific child. 

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World of Randoms

Chapter 18 – Welcome: The Neverending Sections

Each chapter released from this point, if you have noticed since we figured out we were trapped in a section, is Randomly spoken. There is no storyline here. We have no storyline in this place. You have to understand something, the artist putting these chapters together isn’t really focused on any one thing. Can you tell? If not, then that’s fine. We’re here now, you, me, myself and I. This book wasn’t written to make sense, the end of the book was written in Chapter 5…Remember me? Just a character in an everlasting shared dream who disappeared. This is our lives here, we’re all interconnected. This is a bit of history on these pages too. Not mine, but you know, someones, somewhere, somehow, it was a reality out there in this big cruel world. At some point. In someone’s life, maybe not ours. 

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World of Randoms

Chapter 17 – A Teens Note of Revelation

Reading…

‘I’m stuck in this space, it’s my space and mine alone. It’s the only place I can be alone without feeling like I’m all alone. 

I don’t want out of this place either, it’s peaceful here. No drama. Nothing to create any new trauma. 

And this is all because I’m still working through the previous traumas. I’m simply not accepting anything new that could misconstrue what I’ve been through. Nobody but me knows what I’ve been through, and only I can know what was true. 

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World of Randoms

Chapter 16 – Wanting Out

It trips me out every time. Sitting on a beach, it’s supposed to be relaxing, but it’s just full of all these grains of sand…shells…it’s windy. Wet…messy and not to mention you can’t hear a thing past the ocean crashing in with the winds. I’m sitting in front of the great birthing pool of everything larger than all our individual lives combined. Things exist in those waters that could swallow you and me whole in one gulp. Things exist in those waters that have stung me…damn jellies. So illusively beautiful, yet some are so very deadly. Of all the things we could die from, you could die from a floating blob of gelatinous venom. Or something with 8 arms of nothing but pure masculine muscle, with a grasp that can rip your limbs off. Beaks so powerful…it’s painful to reflect on some of the images I’ve picked up in these shore sands. 

I met that one girl on the beach eons ago. She wasn’t here, but her voice, I could hear. Talk about the oddities in life. Looking back, we could say children are supernaturally sensitive. When you listen to ghost stories, you think you’re crazy. Maybe you are? Sure did give a different insight into life. All the different ways you can live it. Maybe a lot of different ways to end it too. 

If I could go back, a generation…and give my mother some advice when she was pregnant with me…what would I advise? If I had to answer, I’d tell her to not change a god damn thing. Live it as you lived it. I wouldn’t change a damn thing in my life. My angels, my demons, my lessons, my heathens, my lovers, my mother. I wouldn’t change a damn thing. I wouldn’t tell her a damn thing, it’d affect my life too much. Call me selfish…but I wish her well, I wish her nothing but pure happiness. 

A memory flashes through, a mother and daughter sharing an abnormal moment in a small bathroom, located in a small house in a small town in a small place in a small window of time. Oh under this limelight we can see into their hearts, both in great strife and pain. One angry and confused, the other lost and deeply troubled… The mother laying in a tub of water, tears in her eyes. In this small house, they only have one bathroom to share. The daughter has to pee so she’s in there just to do that. Her mother with her head almost submerged emerges enough to tremble some words, she’s crying…

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World of Randoms

Chapter 15 – Trapped Inside

Looking back at the memories of looking inside those somber eyes, the pain flickers a flame. We can’t help it, we just don’t feel the same. You can bury it, or you can hide it, but underneath it all, it has made its impact. We’re standing here in the same section, with the same girl. Turn around to meet her gaze, and back into that rabbit hole we climb. You have to face this painting in order to move to another section. This is, after all, a reflection of life’s reality. You can’t move forward unless you can let go of where you’ve been. Understand it enough to let it go that is… We’ve all felt alone, she’s clearly thought she felt more alone than the rest of us could imagine. Whether that’s true or not, is really irrelevant. 

Let’s take a deep breath now. Open your eyes to this place, take in a scene. We’re under a mimosa tree, sitting here looking up through the trees at the light of the sunshine flickering we can see the movement of the winds through the branches. ‘A moment of relaxation?’ the thought of a young woman speaks out to our reality. It’s a dominant woman’s voice. She has told orders in her lifetime. 

 Let’s back out and watch from the outside, shall we?

A girl about her mid 20’s we could guess, sitting under the mimosa tree, ever so beautifully sitting upon a hill overlooking a vast valley of villages, trees, hills, meadows, plantations… Her hair is the color of the ocean, it’s blue. It’s beautiful, it’s a darker reflection of the skies above us. Her eyes are open and gazing up through the branches, we can make out scars across her beautiful face, one eye is without life…you can see that she is blind in that eye, it’s her right eye. The scar on her face, we can only imagine came from a blade. Starting at the top of her right eyebrow, across her nose and onto her left cheek it stops. Upon the same eye, a straight down scar from the same spot on her eyebrow, right down her cheek. 

You can’t help but wonder how her eye is even still there? Such a nasty scar. Her throat appears to have been strangled by barbwire at some point… as our assessment goes down her body, you realize she’s wearing boxing bandages as a shirt. Tightly wrapped, as a warrior might be. It stops above her belly button and she is wearing red pants. This is where we notice the anomaly against our reality. Her feet…they’re not human. They’re that of a fox. 

Suddenly her gaze snaps over into our direction, and she addresses us directly. 

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World of Randoms

Chapter 14 – Those Somber Eyes

Diving into those somber eyes without any permission to the viewer, here we go…an unexpected rabbit hole adventure. There might be a storyline hidden here after all, but we’ll find out as we journey further. Doesn’t life seem to have a trend to match a movie or a story? 

And here we go again…round and round…to the sound of her voice. Into a scene, that we haven’t even begun to see. 

“I wanted to make something beautiful,” She said, fiddling with her painting utensils. He had his camera in hand and was looking for this perfect opportunity to compliment her.

He looked at her with his camera in hand, pointed it at her, and said “Look at me and smile then!”

She smiled and tossed him the perfect glance for the snapshot captured. Such a lovely face, smile, soul…she lit a room up and didn’t realize it. So many would speak ill of her to her, but beautifully when she exited the room. Why is it such nature of man to pluck a flower so that it dies? Why not water it and seed more? 

Here in this moment, we flip to a different channel, she’s standing at a podium in an empty room.

A blank room. Could it be a hospital room? All the walls painted white and blank? A few clusters of round white tables, white chairs…all white. Her black hair against the background and her eyes, the loudest elements in the room because she herself is dressed in all white and blending…the podium even is white. 

“I want you all to experience this moment as the end of one long vivid dream, that you just woke from. I want you to accept that I was never actually here. I was simply a very loud and memorable character in one long interconnected and shared dream… I will visit you again.” then she broke out in laughter. It was almost cynical from an outer perspective…but imagine the inner narrative?  

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World of Randoms

Chapter 13 – Metaphorical Glory

To no delays…the other side has finally opened up…Let’s step out of this purgatory and right on into the storyline on the other side of this painting’s lines. 

“So what’s your story?” He asked her. He stared at her eyes, hoping she would return the stare. 

She smiled and directed her eyes away as she drifted into quick thoughts ‘oh would he really want to know? Is he just going to use it against her?’

“Pardon me…” she mumbled softly as she spun away in her little polka-dot dress and strutted away to the lady’s room. This is where she stumbles off in a silent frantic and lands her weight into her hands on the sink and locks eyes with herself in the mirror. 

In this reflection, we dive into a deeper complexion of her personal self conversations. 

She hasn’t the trust to elaborate on herself or her stories

All it is for her is an over-glorified sidestep from the obituaries 

Everyone always looks at her pretty smile and assumes it’s been all sunshine and roses.

If they knew the trenches of her enemies she’s had to trudge 

Let me step back, let her defense down so you can attack. 

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World of Randoms

The Interim in Her Precipice

There is a moment we have to spend here in this section, sitting and waiting for the other side to open up as history unfolds within our lives. Here we stand in the midst of a war…frozen in time. A moment to all our own individual designs. Let’s take a look around…let’s set the scene I mean. If we can…it’s rather large and obscene and I don’t think we can capture all the facts in a matter of one sitting…or any sitting length of time. 

Let me unfold…we now have everyone’s motives in question. Let the best out right here. We’re on the topic of a rainbow today, one side sitting in very dark and hateful waters and the other sitting on the spectrum end where none of the darkness has ever been seen or experienced. There are those who would march to eliminate the innocence throughout the entire world… For they believe that from innocence breeds the discrimination of assumptions and therefore hatred for the misunderstood. In their eyes, the elimination of innocence is the elimination of evil. 

This, of course, is a philosophical point. Inherently speaking on emotions picked up along the pathway of my life. Here I am sitting in this tunnel, kind of stuck. Just wondering what’s wavering in front of that light down in the distance. As you know, we have to complete a section to get anywhere else in this place. The other side of this section is locked down…and quite frankly looking like a Frankenstein beast. You…me…myself…and the I here in this situation are all the ones present for this transgression against the narrative of the open and free world as we know it…maybe it’s a matter of our universe… 

While everyone outside of this place is either hiding or going about their business or the others are out picketing and rioting…robbing…screaming…crying…there’s a lot of us sitting here in our four walls…our hearts swelled in pain…throats choked up with this same exact pain. Our voices muted by the disdain and knowing…the brainwashing goes deeper than we can fathom to understand or even begin to unravel and restitch to put together a picture some of the rest would understand. 

Nobody wants to start over it seems like. It’s the choice to continue the mistakes of the last generation apparently. It seems so obvious to us…these individuals sitting and hiding away from the violence in the public domain, rooted in the disdain and assertion that their roots are properly nourished and properly justified for their violence to flourish…because in their eyes this is the justice long overdue…a hell recreated just for you with the light skin…even though you haven’t a clue what sin you’re being crucified for…it was, after all, our founding father’s actions that got us here. 

Maybe it’s in our roots to not participate with the violence…that our voices are muted and trampled by the masses who so collectively scream for justice…but mute out the most just of voices. It’s the collective unity in choices that repeats the same pains, sits us back in the very same seats we were just chained to. Maybe we just understand that nothing we say will hideaway that deep-seated hate that has each generation stuck on repeat. 

We could ponder all day long…but let’s dive into this one plant here…she’s beautiful and tall…bright and vibrant at a glance…but the petals, if you look closely at the way they unfold…have a gloomy message to be read. It’s a message that I find words that are hard to be said. Where to start…when the seed sprouted into a plant? No…her growth was too painful to describe…

Let’s start with…a scene from our past…This might be rooted in reality…with a twist of human brutality…so brace yourself. You can always opt to leave too…

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